Monday, March 16, 2009

update: reminder

I was looking for this book that a friend of mine wanted to borrow. As I flipped through the pages in search of ATM receipts and other embarrassing makeshift bookmarks, a small piece of paper flew out. It was a little thing I wrote over a year ago at the back of a used schedule tracker.

Now that you’re gone, I find myself closer to God. I pray for strength and courage for each day that feels like my last. I pray for heavy rain to conceal my crying eyes. I pray for love to one day find its way back to me. But mostly, I find myself praying for slumber for it is what eludes me most.

I know what you’re thinking. It’s so melodramatic, it almost plays like a weepy country song. Seeing it now, it makes me cringe a little (conceal my crying eyes?). I guess I’ve forgotten how shattered I was back then. It’s nice to sit back and think about how I somehow pulled through. Although I still have a few missing pieces, I know that I’m almost whole again. Sometimes, all you need is a little reminder to show you how far you’ve come.