Sunday, March 1, 2009

update: blood

I’ve been having these really violent dreams lately. When I wake up, I feel breathless and I’m almost always sure I have a new scratch wound somewhere. Today, it’s right above my upper lip. Most of the blood’s clotted by now but I still don’t understand why my body becomes so violent once the lights go down.

In this particular dream, a faceless old man is choking me. I was begging him to let me breathe but the monster had different plans for me. He took his time to make me suffer. Each move was precise. I was not his first victim. He was just about to draw a gun when I woke up, gasping and grateful to be alive.

Forgiveness is easy. It’s acceptance and forgetting that’s a bitch.