Thursday, July 20, 2006

diary wiary

check this out! (if you've got a baby picture lying around, post it in your blog, too!)

the folks at STAUST asked me for a picture of myself when i was a kid and i remembered there was one in my diary so i brought it to school. a piece of paper fell out and i immediately recognized it. it was a poem i made for her way way back. you know her. i've had a lot of angry posts about her. but now that we're okay (civilized people should always be okay), i guess it's cool to post it now.

it's written with a pencil and at the bottom, she scribbled March 12, 2006, 3:30 AM in red ink. we were at a friend's house writing her paper. i wrote it in like 15 minutes but i've been reeling from it for so long.

anyway, here it is. it's still untitled, maybe because i didn't want it to seem so final. i think i'll just leave it like that.

the ignorant human
stands barefoot at the
throne of the gods
feeling unworthy of
the blessed company he keeps

there are no words
to describe, even remotely
the confusion, the shame
the anguish his mortal heart holds

it is heavy, the cross that he
chooses to bear
to feel so out of place
in a world so unnatural
and so far from the
grasslands he roams in
desolate desperation

he sits there
breathing their air
and eating their food
not exactly sure
what the world still means to him
or why he's there,
clumsily stumbling out of his league,
feeling so much for gods who
would not care if he should perish

the unnatural sound of their resonant footsteps
are not alien to the echose of his heart

oh, what will the people think?
how dare he cohort with them!
does he not know his place?
but still, the gods sit there watching
the pristine goddess eating a warm grape
the virginal sweetness of purple still lingering
in her timid lips

the image of the gods in the hall
still haunt the mortal's memories
those final steps as he exits
the saline tears his weary eyes betray
living will never be the same
the people blur in his vision
he should've known his place
maybe i should've known my place