Tuesday, May 3, 2005

nudity parody

Subtitled: My camera is wet and broken.

Isn't it weird how the number of people posting stark naked pictures of themselves on the net is increasing rapidly and at such an alarming rate? (wait, that was redundant, wasn't it?) NO, I did not just jump the bandwagon, although there is a picture of me right there that begs to disagree. There's an explanation, if you'd simply hold your horses for a minute.

These people, jeez. I mean, these aren't ordinary people that you met online or stuff. These are ACTUAL people who you have, at one time:

a) talked to,
b) ate lunch with
c) (in VERY special cases) shared stories about infected boogers, or
d) went to church-salsh-school-slash-sunday school-slash-christian summer camp with (?!).

There's this guy named Jobet who I went to grade school with. He was always this nice boy, a Boy Scout with knee high socks and everything. Then puberty kicks in and all of a sudden, he's (I heard) really popular and shazam, nekkid pictures on the net. My friend Carlo (aka Maui Taylor) is nice and all but I find it a little peculiar when I see half-nekkid pictures of him in hotornot.com. My seatmate in fourth year, Ymon, who was shitload smart and quiet and a Christian and everything. College hits and he's a pervert who likes to take pictures of his *ahem*. Argee says he was a pervert even back in high school. Honestly, I really wouldn't know. Anyways, my point is: where are everybody's clothes? What is this obsession with nudity?

So I was thinking, to be stark naked, you'd either have to be

a) newly born (an eighteen month period is allowable)
b) taking a shower
c) whacking off (oops, scratch that. you don't even have to be nekkid to do that, unless of course you're really getting into it)

My friend Anthony adds this (he commented) :
d) people are usually nekkid when they spoon (are you sure? Ha ha ha)
e) people are nekkid in nude beaches. <- derrrr Wow, Sherlock must've been stumped.

On the other hand, we were all naked when we were ushered into this world. We all get naked at least once a day, unless you're a filthy bum (in that case, unplug your computer and loofah your way to sanity). And since I haven't been a baby in easily seventeen years, I thought it's time I gave these people a run for their money.

Gawd, I'm fat. Have I told you I'm so fugging fat? My backfat is horendous (?). My tummy is the size of Nebraska. *sob*

By the way, I made an awful mistake. This is a clarification. TJ Ramos was never an asshole to me or my friends. I'm sorry to all his fans who probably googled their way to my blog and read he was an asshole. Correction, he is really nice. (Secondhand info. I haven't spoken to him enough to pass judgement.) So again, I'm sorry. Hey, even geniuses, especially those with pug noses, make mistakes, too!

I think this picture is just a little too obscene. Too bad it's still there. (On account of me taking about a million shots to get it right.) Alanis has a picture in the bath, why can't I? Ha ha ha... This reminds me of Jewel's pop-culture parody in 0304. We're not really sure if it was satyrical because she seems to be reaaaally enjoying that shower. Those firemen don't bite either.

Here's a poem I thought off while I was in the lav:

Where are all the lions?
The boy wondered
Looking back on days
When predators preyed
And there was always something to do
The panthers have all gone
Said the boy
Pick up your bag from the floor
There's no one here
To suck
The youth
From my fingertips
There is no one left
The boy quivered
The night has never been colder
Yearning from comfort
Too lost in thought
He forgets his cigarette is lit
Burnt to a crisp
Resting on his steady fingertips
Where should I go now?
The jungle is empty
There is nothing left
They are not simply resting
There is no one here
I shuddered
There is no one here

Three guesses on what it's about. Ha ha...